email to author of "Why do you work so hard?":
Mark,
I really appreciate the article, it helps my optimism to know there's more in store for my life than 9 to 5 + overtime--once I've finished school, finished having kids, found the better job, .... It hurts to see my peers (20 - 30 yrs) positioning themselves for a secure retirement (35 years from now!) at the cost of sadness, stress and familial neglect right now.
My wife and I are intending to unschool our 2 (or more) in a big part to keep them free to think and work however they choose. I think a lot of other homeschoolers are catching on as well. There's hope for giving kids a chance at finding their own way; I believe they'll do a lot better than I did if they're never told how to do it.
To grow up without believing grades and achievement matter...? My son is one year old, and knowing what's in store--the possiblities, the time to persue, the freedom to choose--I am humbled and intimidated by what he could do someday. Maybe that's the optimism of a parent rambling, but it'd be nice if it's not.
thanks for your words,
Adam Bachman Baltimore, MD
I responded because I felt like it, because I'm kind of finding that it's fun to respond to things.
I did leave out an important part of my unschooling philosophy stump speech, however. We're concerned about our kids' life--how they will grow up, who they will grow to be--but our concern for them is bigger than that. Society likes achievement; measurable, gradeable acheivement. We don't really care about acheivement in the same way. I don't care if my son learns to read early, I don't care if he gets a high paying job, and I especially don't care whether he's smarter than everyone or not. I do care about his heart, though. I care about his ability to love. I care most about helping him understand that he is loved by a lot of people. There is more to life than doing stuff well. All the works in the world will impress your friends and neighboors, but they won't get you any closer to eternal love.
We intend to raise our kids in a Christian household. This doesn't include indoctrination and infliction of punishment and fear, just the opposite, in fact. There is no part of my faith that will transfer unchanged from inside of me to inside my kids. That's true for anyone looking to pass on any piece of themselves, I think. There are things like laws, and the actual words used that should remain the same but these are concrete. What I'm talking about is the abstract part of faith. The best I can do, I think, is tell my children as often as I can that they are loved and show them the same through my words and actions.
Our Father loves us and has provided more than we could ever need. The author of the article recognized that much, even if he didn't recognize it in all the same ways as me. Through His Son, I believe he provided for me beyond this life. That's worth more than all the homeschooler braniac points in the world if my son "gets it".
